Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
