Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
