in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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