that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
