She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
