so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need a beard to bite.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
