and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
