they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
