How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
