am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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