She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
