He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
