she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
