I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
