Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dignity is for republicans.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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