So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
