lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
how drunk are you?
Several
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
