It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
