so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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