it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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