Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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