the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dignity is for republicans.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
