i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
