my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
