Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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