It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
