im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
