Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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