hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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