Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
