on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
