I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
