There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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