So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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