Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
