Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
