I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
