I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't turn off my feet"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
