You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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