Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
