You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
