So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
