He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize