I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
