I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
