I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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