Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
