There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
