the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
