Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
