I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
