just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
