his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
