did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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