last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
