The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
