i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
