I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
