i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
