There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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