did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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