I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize