i just wanna soil my oats bro
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
