I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
