doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
