i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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