I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
