Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
