brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
there's paper in my vomit.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
