unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
