I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
whose parrot is this?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
