Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
