I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
