Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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